It was easy to eliminate the ‘extras’ – the party friends, the acquaintances, the part-time friends, the flakes. I never really was that social anyway.
But it was when the ‘BFFs’ started trickling out of my life that I was left feeling a little bewildered, and a little hurt. I mean I hadn’t done anything wrong had I? Of course I wasn’t the first person to call to go to the bars anymore. But I was still me.
It’s funny how children are so life changing, you’re whole world shifts and some days you’re left thinking, “I can’t believe I know all the sesame street songs and I shop more for a pint size person than myself.” But honestly, at the same time I really feel like my life hasn’t changed that much. I’m just armed with different priorities, a better understanding and respect for consequences, and a whole new light in my life. In fact I have never ever felt more in my element than before. I drew a circle around myself and never left my comfort zone. I was so awkwardly shy, so unable to make small talk or chitchat. Now I find myself bullshitting with grocers, chit chatting with complete strangers, and actively trying to network with new people.
Yes it hurt that my ‘best friend’ in high school sent me a message with one sentence, “good luck Ashley” in response to my baby news. Yes it hurts that the only two girls I hung out with pregnant stopped responding to texts and always bailed. And yes it hurts that my ‘best mommy friend’ got a new one and I never heard from her anymore. But you know what? Your loss. I used to think maybe I was doing something wrong, maybe I was no fun…. and before I would beat myself up over it. I’ve become close with a girl I never thought I’d like. Some of my best friends are the ladies in my office, and I look forward to hanging out with my family. And I’ve gotten so far out of my circle that I started attending a mommy group.
So yes, I forgo that new pair of shoes for me so Aspen can get some pairs of summer sandals. I traded shopping at Urban Outfitters for Old Navy baby. I’m outside growing flowers and trying my hand at veggies instead of sitting in front of a TV all day. I’m learning to crochet better instead of smoking pot and playing video games. And I spend hours in the kitchen making baby food instead of sitting in a fast food line. I recycle, compost, and try to make the cute things I like instead of buy them. My big nights out are with a glass of wine and a little time to play Sims.
But you know what? I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy before and I’m perfectly fine being boring.
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