On my "TO DO" list:

Build a dollhouse with Aspen

Pay off all credit cards

Learn how to crochet flowers

Learn how to crochet anything I want actually

Learn how to sew baby clothes

Look into cloth diapering instead of disposable

Learn to live without needing so much ‘stuff’

Make tons of meals that I can just throw in the freezer

Plant my veggies

Transplant my lavender and bell peppers

Go back to school unless I can make it as an entrepreneur

(check out the UNcollege movement)

Buy a house in two years

Get my credit score past 700

Learn how to cook better

Negotiate better

Pay off my car quickly

Learn to make my own sushi

Learn to dance

Get closer to girlfriends (make some new besties)

Go to Vegas

Learn jewelry making skills

Never say "I'm too busy" to my baby

Write a book

Be someone Aspen can always come talk to no matter what about

Chew out the really unpleasant lady that always calls my office

Do things for people without expectations

Learn another language

Get baby pictures done

Stick up for myself more often

Have a garden that I can live off of

Learn to control my temper a little bit better

Think before I speak

Use my crockpot more

Get married

Spend less money

Stop eating so much DAMN JUNK FOOD

Eat earlier at night and healthier

Work out

Get my pre-baby body back

Get a tan

Find the perfect haircut for frickin once

Stop being so scared of things out of my control

Live for the day

Lessen my carbon footprint

Recycle more

Open my own store

Learn to paint

Use solar power

Go vegetarian

Be less neurotic

Go to Seattle

Go on an IKEA shopping spree

Get benefits from a job

Interview for jobs that I think I have no chance getting

Ride a bike more

Have ATLEAST one more baby

Get a nose job… maybe?

Be able to drop $100 bucks without worrying if I’ll still have enough to pay bills

And mostly to just be grateful, happy, and appreciative of what I do have.

I knew it was coming, but it didn't hurt any less.

It was easy to eliminate the ‘extras’ – the party friends, the acquaintances, the part-time friends, the flakes. I never really was that social anyway.

But it was when the ‘BFFs’ started trickling out of my life that I was left feeling a little bewildered, and a little hurt. I mean I hadn’t done anything wrong had I? Of course I wasn’t the first person to call to go to the bars anymore. But I was still me.

It’s funny how children are so life changing, you’re whole world shifts and some days you’re left thinking, “I can’t believe I know all the sesame street songs and I shop more for a pint size person than myself.” But honestly, at the same time I really feel like my life hasn’t changed that much. I’m just armed with different priorities, a better understanding and respect for consequences, and a whole new light in my life. In fact I have never ever felt more in my element than before. I drew a circle around myself and never left my comfort zone. I was so awkwardly shy, so unable to make small talk or chitchat. Now I find myself bullshitting with grocers, chit chatting with complete strangers, and actively trying to network with new people.

Yes it hurt that my ‘best friend’ in high school sent me a message with one sentence, “good luck Ashley” in response to my baby news. Yes it hurts that the only two girls I hung out with pregnant stopped responding to texts and always bailed. And yes it hurts that my ‘best mommy friend’ got a new one and I never heard from her anymore. But you know what? Your loss. I used to think maybe I was doing something wrong, maybe I was no fun…. and before I would beat myself up over it. I’ve become close with a girl I never thought I’d like. Some of my best friends are the ladies in my office, and I look forward to hanging out with my family. And I’ve gotten so far out of my circle that I started attending a mommy group.

So yes, I forgo that new pair of shoes for me so Aspen can get some pairs of summer sandals. I traded shopping at Urban Outfitters for Old Navy baby. I’m outside growing flowers and trying my hand at veggies instead of sitting in front of a TV all day. I’m learning to crochet better instead of smoking pot and playing video games. And I spend hours in the kitchen making baby food instead of sitting in a fast food line. I recycle, compost, and try to make the cute things I like instead of buy them. My big nights out are with a glass of wine and a little time to play Sims.

But you know what? I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy before and I’m perfectly fine being boring.

Everyone's Doing It

After reading and admiring many of my friends blogs I've decided to join the bandwagon as well. I don't know what I will be posting, probably a smorgasbord of random thoughts, arts and crafts ideas, what I'm up to, etc. I have always enjoyed writing and used to do it more regularly and would love to exercise it a little more. Mostly for my sanity, hopefully sometimes for others' enjoyment- maybe even for a sense of fellowship or "Thank God someone else is as crazy as me too!"

Enjoy!